This blog started off on a very different note… it started off with how I humored the queen of my heart. But I am going to change it now… Henceforth we are going to talk about how our relationship changes every day… matures (of course for the better..!)
I remember very clearly when I saw her cry for the first time. She cooked something and I told her that I don’t like it the way she has done it and that it’d rather be done “that” way…
She cried like a baby and I didn’t know what to do. Frankly I was caught off guard. We were still new to each other and didn’t quite know each other that well. What the heck we are 2 years down and I still feel that I don’t know her completely…
We have come a long way. Of course our relationship has changed a lot. Then, she was in awe of me… She respected me and even feared me a bit. Now… well I’d rather not talk about it…
What I will talk about today is something that every couple in the world experiences. “Couple Fights”. It is very important that couples have fights… keeps the juices flowing… Maintains individuality, etc. But we must also know where to stop… or it gets kinda gory…
- The cute fights: I won’t talk about these much in detail. These are mock fights. More like foreplay I must say. Interesting, but end well only if both the parties are not pre-occupied with something. these fights should last for 30 seconds to 1 minute and should preferably end in the bedroom (or wherever you feel the most romantic!!!)
- “I told you so” fights: These are the ones when either of the party makes a mistake and the other party says, “I told you so”. This is quite related to Ego and usually sayer, makes the sayee, feel stupid. Should be taken in good humor by the sayee… These fights should not last for more than 2 minutes and should end with a changed subject. you may use silence if you can’t think of something else to talk about.
- Niche insults: There are some things that every feels proud of. Things that they think they are good at. Like I think I am good at maintaining relationships and she is good at writing. The problem comes when one of us disagrees. Like, I initially didn’t think that she cooked too well. Now she happened to pride herself about her cooking. Her friends used to call her at parties for cooking. It is not that she is a bad cook. It is a matter of preference. If I teach her about cooking, or she teaches me about how to do my job, we have a situation. And this is a bit on the serious side. The insulter must realize the mistake and take a step back. The responsibility doesn’t lie with the insultee at all. Here he must be allowed to take the upper hand, irrespective of whose mistake it is. Shouldn’t last more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes because the insultee may be wrong at times and the insulter may take 10 minutes to realize that he is venturing into a “Prosecutors would be castrated” territory.
- Hypothetical fights: These could be as mild as “Do you think I would look nice if I wore these to the party or do I look too fat?” to “Would you stand by me if I had an argument with your mother about xyz subject?”. Trust me, although these are not worth a penny, they are the most difficult to handle. I am pretty good at handling relationship “situations” and I think these are tough situations. You can’t lie, because she will know. You can’t tell the truth, because that will infuriate her and things will either explode or implode. There is quite nothing you can do. So I would suggest stick to the objective truth and lie low. Let the tornado pass over you. Here The responsibility pretty much always lies with the male / more mature / experienced / older party. Once the situation starter has cooled down, play your gambit.
I could go on but the post would get too long… Perhaps I will write sequels to these…
But always remember. In all relationship “situations”, it doesn’t matter who is right. What matters is whoever is in a better position to resolve the issue, must.
I know it sounds so manipulative. But as I always say, “Pyaar kiya nahi jaata, Pyaar ho bhi nahi jaata… Pyaar karwaaya jaata hai…”
