Ode of gratitude to her friends…

Sometimes she is down. Times, when she is loaded with work. When she might have a backache due to long hours in front of the laptop, on the bed, slouched over. When her boss expects too much and doesn’t respond the way she wants him to. When she meets someone at work who is… umm… not pleasant… should I say… read more...

The Blending

I called myself an ‘asura’. I carried the attitude at least. I was  showy, loud, extravagant and boastful. Always made a big entrance, wanted all the attention in places where there were crowds and always wanted to be left alone when at home. So no sibling rivalry issues – so to speak.

She was the quiet types. Always wanted to mingle and hated attention at crowded places. But she was the single child of her parents and so she never got used to sharing her toys, her room and her share of attention from her parents.

We were different… worlds apart… taste in food, thoughts about charity, money and even the concepts about a happy life… but by the divine hand of God we were bound together. Destined to spend a lifetime together. And to achieve that fate, a blending was required.

Although adaptation and change is imminent, the first natural instinct of any human is to not change. We like ourselves and want to continue being what we already are. But as imminent as it can be, change is bound to happen. And trust me, it happens in ways more than you can imagine.

One small change at a time, we evolved. Appearance, behavior, attitude, through all the resistance took shape. There were times when we felt that perhaps we were better off the way we were but we couldn’t stop it. We blended…

This is just the beginning and we have just started seeing blurry boundaries, the edges of our personality where we can’t figure out where I end and she begins. But there is a long way to go… for the blending to be complete…

Shaadi.com

It has been 1 year 3rd October was our 1st Anniversary. Although I don’t remember distinctly how life was before I met her, I can’t imagine a life without her any more. Although it has only been one year. A day before our anniversary, we wrote this blog… together… It was fun… not just the writing… the whole ride… So here goes…

The initial frenzy:

She kept looking at her watch. She checked her make up and her hair. “I hope my dress does good to cover up the extra baggage”, she thought. This will be the third man that she would be meeting in 1 month. It is too many decisions to take. How can you just meet someone and decide whether you really want to spend the rest of your life with the person.

He took a shower, changed and got ready. They (he and his friend) picked up the bike and moved for the designated location. On the way there was a flat tyre. They were late. Towed the bike to a nearby puncture shop. Got it repaired and moved again. First it was some mall, then later a last minute decision change. She informed him that it was now Kentucky Fried Chicken round the corner.

She was about to order for her second coffee, when he called and confirmed that they will be late. Angry, she walks out. Too many things on her mind. She already liked him and almost thought she is in love. What if he does not turn out to be what she is expecting. This is an important date and he is late…!! She does some window shopping for diversion. It was too much attention to take. She decided to wait at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Noida was particularly hot that day. Was it really the weather…? He wondered… They met. No she was not extra-ordinarily beautiful. But was he looking for that? she was nice… worried, nervous, shaky, could barely eat… But nice… He hogged…

Sitting at the table by the window, when she first saw him walking into KFC. Honestly, she was disappointed. He had long flowing hair and so thin that it definitely did not replete a fashion statement. There was actually a touch of feminine to his hair. Her dream castle got crumbled down and she was wondering, “what now…???”

She was quiet, he was trying to humor her for the last 4 hours. She wouldn’t talk much, or smile much. Heck she wouldn’t even react much to the jokes. He knew the first couple of hours were crucial. He used some really tough tactics to keep her distracted, including telling her a telugu movie story. Slowly, but steadily, after a couple of smokes and a 4 Dimension movie, she lightened up.

She was not very sure if they would enjoy the same things. But the initial frenzy gave way and she no longer craved to get away from him. She tried to enjoy it, like she would any other date. Spend a good day together.

The rickshaw ride:

He considered himself a pretty good and imaginative talker. Today was the day when he would meet his match, figuratively and literally.

One thing was certain, they were both talkers. To wind up the day, she proposed they go on a rickshaw ride. He had this habit of saying, “what next”, just to fill the silence. And all of a sudden, she decided to tail it, with a story. She began the first line and said, “what next”? and he tailed it further. On and on they went till the rickshaw ride ended and the story was complete.

How do you decide who you will spend the rest of your life with? They say you know, but how will you ever? Is it a button in your head which goes green? Or is it a bell that rings? What happens really? Well, nothing happens really. You know it, just like you know who you are, deep inside. Can’t really explain it. You never know when it might happen. You might wait an entire lifetime, for it to happen or it might happen in the next few seconds. It happened for him then and there, just when the story was about to complete. He knew this was perfect and he had to make it happen.

The day after:

That night she could barely catch any sleep. She was bombarded with calls, questions and she shelled back with her world of confusions. She knew it was not like the other “meetings”. He had something that she felt very strongly about. There was an undeniable and irresistible attraction about him, which she might have missed at the first glance. But she had been contented and a happy bachelorette, for a long time now. And giving in… and this time for something as permanent as marriage was a huge decision. She invited as many friends as she could to meet him the next day, thinking, there opinions might help clear the cobwebs in her mind.

He hated Noida. Everything except the rickshaw ride last evening was painful and tiring. No place to sit, no peace and quite where they could talk comfortably. Crowds and heat everywhere. He resolved to take her to a more comfortable place the next time they met. He also knew that he must shape this up as soon as possible if he wants this to work. Shouldn’t allow her to think too much. Stay focused, keep her focused. The next meeting had to be substantial, however, this meeting is also crucial. There was a nice JNU Spot, the motorcycle shop, the junk shop, and then the Chinese restaurant. There were things that had to be done together to give shape to whatever it is that he was trying to sculpt. And that’s exactly what he did, watching the sunset, window shopping and talking about bikes, shopping (if you may call it) and dinner. They kept the chopsticks, one each.

The moment she saw him next morning, she knew if not anything else, she was deeply infatuated. She simply held his hand. He kept touching her head every now and then. She felt very warm, cared and secure to be with him and by noon, she knew she can continue doing whatever she was doing, for a long long time. And when he dropped her home, she realized the day has come to an end and he will be gone tomorrow. Something came upon her and she pulled his face for a quick kiss.

A new path…

This blog started off on a very different note… it started off with how I humored the queen of my heart. But I am going to change it now… Henceforth we are going to talk about how our relationship changes every day… matures (of course for the better..!)

I remember very clearly when I saw her cry for the first time. She cooked something and I told her that I don’t like it the way she has done it and that it’d rather be done “that” way…

She cried like a baby and I didn’t know what to do. Frankly I was caught off guard. We were still new to each other and didn’t quite know each other that well. What the heck we are 2 years down and I still feel that I don’t know her completely…

We have come  a long way. Of course our relationship has changed a lot. Then, she was in awe of me… She respected me and even feared me a bit. Now… well I’d rather not talk about it…

What I will talk about today is something that every couple in the world experiences. “Couple Fights”. It is very important that couples have fights… keeps the juices flowing… Maintains individuality, etc. But we must also know where to stop… or it gets kinda gory…

1. The cute fights: I won’t talk about these much in detail. These are mock fights. More like foreplay I must say. Interesting, but end well only if both the parties are not pre-occupied with something. these fights should last for 30 seconds to 1 minute and should preferably end in the bedroom (or wherever you feel the most romantic!!!)
2. “I told you so” fights: These are the ones when either of the party makes a mistake and the other party says, “I told you so”. This is quite related to Ego and usually sayer, makes the sayee, feel stupid. Should be taken in good humor by the sayee… These fights should not last for more than 2 minutes and should end with  a changed subject. you may use silence if you can’t think of something else to talk about.
3. Niche insults: There are some things that every feels proud of. Things that they think they are good at. Like I think I am good at maintaining relationships and she is good at writing. The problem comes when one of us disagrees. Like, I initially didn’t think that she cooked too well. Now she happened to pride herself about her cooking. Her friends used to call her at parties for cooking. It is not that she is a bad cook. It is a matter of preference. If I teach her about cooking, or she teaches me about how to do my job, we have a situation. And this is a bit on the serious side. The insulter must realize the mistake and take a step back. The responsibility doesn’t lie with the insultee at all. Here he must be allowed to take the upper hand, irrespective of whose mistake it is. Shouldn’t last more than 10 minutes. 10 minutes because the insultee may be wrong at times and the insulter may take 10 minutes to realize that he is venturing into a “Prosecutors would be castrated” territory.
4. Hypothetical fights: These could be as mild as “Do you think I would look nice if I wore these to the party or do I look too fat?” to “Would you stand by me if I had an argument with your mother about xyz subject?”. Trust me, although these are not worth a penny, they are the most difficult to handle. I am pretty good at handling relationship “situations” and I think these are tough situations. You can’t lie, because she will know. You can’t tell the truth, because that will infuriate her and things will either explode or implode. There is quite nothing you can do. So I would suggest stick to the objective truth and lie low. Let the tornado pass over you. Here The responsibility pretty much always lies with the male / more mature / experienced / older party. Once the situation starter has cooled down, play your gambit.

I could go on but the post would get too long… Perhaps I will write sequels to these…

But always remember. In all relationship “situations”, it doesn’t matter who is right. What matters is whoever is in a better position to resolve the issue, must.

I know it sounds so manipulative. But as I always say, “Pyaar kiya nahi jaata, Pyaar ho bhi nahi jaata… Pyaar karwaaya jaata hai…”

Crowd her inbox...

If I happen to wake up by chance in the middle of the night and text her some messages ... so that when she wakes up the next morn or in the middle of the night... and gets to see a "3 new messages" on her Nokia 3230...

That bloody well turns her on...

Listen to her...

All you have to do is listen to her... Without being told twice...

Now she says I should consider cutting down my smoking... and before she raises the matter again... I come up with a strategy...

She says "Blog"... and before she has to remind me, I tell her that I blog...

Moral: Listen to what she says.....and Remember what you heard... Whether you DO IT is a matter of personal discretion, but the fact that you REMEMBERED and THOUGHT ABOUT IT, damn well turns my girl ON........

Creating 'magic' together...

She loves it when we work together....be it cooking (even if it is an omlette, she loves it when I hang around), singing (while biking we go duet at the top of our voices), reading (she says she concentrates best with me around)....trust me, the list would stop at nothing it I choose not to!

Today I gave her a homework....."Babe why don't you think of a suppa kewl name for my new blog!" By evening she was ready with some amusing nomenclatures....I got them scrabbled a bit and here is what we bingo'ed at: "Coffee, smoke and techilicious burps at 3.47 AM".

Such episodes TURN my girl ON......

And here's the deal... everytime I am able to turn her on, I am going to blog about it... and she, I am sure is going to love it...